This Week In Finance

"A Little More Finance Humor"

One more bit of finance humor, before we get back to the serious stuff. The financial news has been full of M&A activity lately, so I thought I'd put up this group of groaners for use in class, posting on your office door, or house-training your puppy. Enjoy!

Today's M&A Report

There has long been a rumor that W. R. Grace Co. was going to buy the Fuller Brush Co. and Mary Kay Cosmetics, and then merge with the Hale Business Systems. The new mega-corporate entity will be known as... Hale Mary Fuller Grace.

Don't forget the failed merger between Yahoo and Netscape... Net-n-yahoo... It didn't work out because they didn't want to relocate the headquarters to Tel Aviv.

Several years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called ... Farewell Honeychild.

It was recently announced that Wurlitzer is merging with Xerox. They are going to market ... reproductive organs.

There is a merger in the works involving Polygraph Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler. It will be called ... Poly Warner-Cracker.

Had enough? In case you haven't, these will forever put to rest those nagging questions about whether Finance professors have a sense of humor:

3M & Goodyear = mmmGood

John Deere & Abitibi-Price = Deere Abi

Zippo Manufacturing & Audi & Dofasco & Dakota Mining = Zip Audi Do Da

Honeywell & Imasco & Home Oil = Honey, I'm Home

Denison Mines & Alliance & Metal Mining = Mine, All Mine

3M & JC Penny & Canadian Opera Company = 3 Penny Opera

Mattel & Pacific Gold = Ma & Pa

Luvs Diapers & Hertz Rent-a-car = Luv Hertz

Gray Poupon & Dockers Pants = Gray Poupon Pants

Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women = Knott NOW

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