em me Switch “You” to “I” When you are preparing for a fi nal exam or another major academic challenge with a study group, you might fi nd it hard to express yourself in a calm, constructive manner. As Carl Burton knows from his work during surgeries, stressful situations are often the most diffi cult ones in which to communicate calmly and effectively. Yet at the same time, these are the situations in which effective communication is probably most important. To help improve your communications skills in times of stress, practice turning the following “you” statements into less aggressive “I” statements. For example, a possible “I” statement alternative to “You just don’t get it, do you?” would be “I don’t feel I’m making my feelings clear.” 1. You just don’t get it, do you? 2. You never listen to what I say. 3. You don’t see where I’m coming from. 4. You don’t really believe that, do you? 5. Do you even come to class? 6. Please stop interrupting me, and listen to what I’m saying for a change. 7. You’re not making sense. 8. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, then just stop talking! www.mhhe.com/messersmith CHAPTER 7 emPOWERme 413
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