Section 6.1

Stacked Modifiers and Nouns

Avoid using long strings of modifiers or nouns. These stacked modifiers and nouns can be hard toread and sometimes create ambiguity. Add a few words (especially prepositions and conjunctions) to make the relationships between nounsclear to the reader.

Weak

Previous work has shown that a purified pro-oxidant, vitaminE-deficient fish oil diet protects mice against malariaparasites.

Improved

Previous work has shown that feeding a pro-oxidant dietcontaining fish oil, but devoid of vitamin E, protects mice againstmalaria parasites.

--Orville A. Levande et al., "Protection against Murine Cerebral Malaria byDietary-Induced Oxidative Stress," Journal of Parasitology

Weak

We have analyzed low-energy, interplanetary charged, sun-sourcedparticle flux time series.

Improved

We have analyzed the time series of fluxes of low-energyinterplanetary charged particles, whose ultimate origin is theSun.

--David J. Thomson et al., "Propagation of Solar Oscillationsthrough the Interplanetary Medium," Nature

Weak

The system uses a high peak power single frequency low divergentlight beam produced by pulsed lasers. [The modification ofbeam is difficult to sort out.]

Improved

The system uses pulsed lasers that operate under high peak power to produce a single-frequency light beam with low divergence.

## Stacked Modifiers and Nouns ##


[ Home | Table of Contents| Writing Timeline | Index |Help | Credits]