When I look back to previous school years, I can remember a very important person in my life, who really shaped who I am and who I will be in the future. She was the one who inspired me and helped me through my hard decisions. She taught me so much and I learned from her. I’ve accomplished many things because of her advice and now I want to walk in her footsteps.
I remember wanting to be a part of something fun when I was in middle school. I joined chorus because I liked to sing and I wanted to see what it was all about. I recall walking into a big, quiet room. I was so nervous. Then, my teacher comes in with the sweetest smile. Her name was Ms. Julie Smith. She was the most incredible teacher anyone could ever have. She really made everyone feel so comfortable to be in the class. I remember she pulled out a piece of music for the class to sing and at first, we were all very confused, but she was so patient and explained what we had to do and from then on, I knew I wanted to be a singer in a choir.
About four months later, I remember wanting to try out for one of the most prestigious choirs in Florida that meet in Tampa for a convention. She prepared a whole group of us who wanted to test into the choir. She would give us practice tests and quiz us on musical methods and would encourage us to try. She put so much time and effort into making us better, that she forgot about making herself better. She had a serious case of cancer and never told a anyone.
One day, she had no choice but to tell us all in class that she had cancer and she would be leaving for a while to have surgery and chemotherapy. I was very confused at the time. I went up to her crying because I didn’t understand what was going on and why she was leaving. She explained that it was temporary and after the surgery was over, she would come back. She said, “ Don’t worry so much, this will be over soon and I will come back healthy. You just work hard while I’m gone.” I was relieved but still sad because this should not have happened to her.
She did end up coming back to a warm welcome close to the end of the school year. I was thrilled to see her and everything seemed to go back to normal. We started practicing for the District Choral Festival, which was a very big deal for all of us. Ms. Smith put us to work and had us ready to sing in no time. She amazed me with her dedication to music and the choir. She made such an impact on me because what other teacher would go out of their way to help their students after being so ill? I really admired her.
The next year, I noticed Ms. Smith looked weaker. She had to hold herself up with a walking stick. She told us that the chemotherapy made her weak, but nothing has changed. Her expectation of us were still the same. She was still going to work us hard on our music. I can remember seeing her become weaker and weaker. Then, next thing you know, she missed a couple of days of school. I recall her missing a week of school once because she had to be hospitalized. This would happen on and off during the first three months of school. When it was time for Thanksgiving break, I remember saying, “ Have a great Thanksgiving, Ms. Smith,” and I gave her a big hug.
I went away for that week of Thanksgiving and apparently during that time, one of my close friends had called my house several times trying to look for me. When I came back from the trip, I heard the messages she left and I called her right away. She was really sad and I asked her what was wrong. She told me that Ms. Smith had died because of complications due to her cancer. Later, come to find out she had bleed to death internally. I was devastated. I didn’t know how to think at that point. I thought to myself, “No! This isn’t happening, I’m just dreaming.” I cried myself to sleep that night.
Reality struck me when I woke up the next morning for school. When I walked into school, I knew there was going to be an announcement of her death. I remember people asking me if I was going to be ok, but all I could think about was why did she had to pass away. I was taken aside from class to talk to a counselor because one of my teachers noticed I wasn’t in my normal state of mind. The counselor told me to write a letter to Ms. Smith explaining how I felt and my heart sank when I read it back.
Ms. Smith was a person that not only touch me but other people who knew her. She was a relatively young person who had her whole life ahead of her. Two teachers who had some experience with music decided to have a commemoration for Ms. Smith. They got the choir together to sing a few songs and the band to play a few songs for the event. We practiced for about two weeks and with the help of dedicated parents, we were able to have a wonderful ceremony. I didn’t really know this before, but she really made an impact on a lot of peoples lives. The who auditorium was filled. Not a seat to be found. Once everything was settled, the ceremony commenced. It started with the principal making a speech. “ She was one of a kind, and will be missed terribly. I was an honor and a privileged to work with such a fine educator.” My mother even went up to say a few words. After every speaker spoke their peace, the choir was up and ready to sing. I cried during the performance and I could see others in the audience crying too. Once it was all over, everyone who come to see the ceremony had brought flowers or something to leave by her picture. I thought in my mind, how lucky I was to know her.
After all of this, I realize now more than ever, I wanted to be like her. I wanted to inspire people in ways I can only imagine. I want to be the one who makes an impact on children’s lives. I want to be their mentor. I want to feel that satisfaction she got out of teaching and the only way for me to do that is to become a teacher myself. I thought about this long and hard. This is what I want to do for the rest of my life and I owe all my success to her.
-- Shereen Nimrouzi, Florida Atantic University