Part I. Love Maps Questionnaire

Emotionally intelligent couples have richly detailed "love maps"--they know about each other's history, major goals and beliefs, and day-to-day struggles. To assess the quality of your current love maps, answer each of the following questions with "true" or "false."

Select... True False	1.	I can name my partner's best friends.
Select... True False	2.	I can tell you what stresses my partner is currently facing.
Select... True False	3.	I know the names of some of the people who have been irritating my partner lately.
Select... True False	4.	I can tell you some of my partner's life dreams.
Select... True False	5.	I am very familiar with my partner's religious beliefs and ideas.
Select... True False	6.	I can tell you about my partner's basic philosophy of life.
Select... True False	7.	I can list the relatives my partner likes the least.
Select... True False	8.	I know my partner's favorite music.
Select... True False	9.	I can list my partner's three favorite movies.
Select... True False	10.	My partner is familiar with my current stresses.
Select... True False	11.	I know the three most special times in my partner's life.
Select... True False	12.	I can tell you the most stressful thing that happened to my partner as a child.
Select... True False	13.	I can list my partner's major aspirations and hopes in life.
Select... True False	14.	I know my partner's major current worries.
Select... True False	15.	My partner knows who my friends are.
Select... True False	16.	I know what my partner would want to do if he or she suddenly won the lottery.
Select... True False	17.	I can tell you in detail my first impressions of my partner.
Select... True False	18.	Periodically, I ask my partner about his or her world right now.
Select... True False	19.	I feel that my partner knows me pretty well.
Select... True False	20.	My partner is familiar with my hopes and aspirations.

Your Score

Scoring:

10 or above: This is an area of strength in your relationship. You have a fairly detailed map of your partner's everyday life, hopes, fears, and dreams. If you maintain this level of knowledge and understanding of each other, you'll be well equipped to handle any problem areas that crop up in your relationship.

Below 10: Your relationship could stand some improvement in this area. By taking the time to learn more about your partner now, you'll find your relationship becomes stronger.

Part II. Make Your Own Love Maps

If your current love map is inadequate or out of date, interview your partner to learn more about what is going on in his or her life. Just ask questions--don't judge or offer advice. Your goal is to listen and learn.

The cast of characters in my partner's life

Friends:

Potential friends:

Rivals, competitors, "enemies":

Recent important events in my partner's life

Upcoming events (What is my partner looking forward to? Dreading?)

My partner's current stresses

My partner's current worries

My partner's hopes and aspirations (For self? For others?)

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