Read each of the following statements, filling in the blank spaces with the name of one person you love or care for deeply. Rate your agreement with each statement according to the following scale, and enter the appropriate number between 1 and 9.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Not at all Moderately Extremely

1. I am actively supportive of 's well-being.
2. I have a warm relationship with .
3. I am able to count on in times of need.
4. is able to count on me in times of need.
5. I am willing to share myself and my possessions with .
6. I receive considerable emotional support from .
7. I give considerable emotional support to .
8. I communicate well with .
9. I value greatly in my life.
10. I feel close to .
11. I have a comfortable relationship with .
12. I feel that I really understand .
13. I feel that really understands me.
14. I feel that I can really trust .
15. I share deeply personal information about myself with .
16. Just seeing excites me.
17. I find myself thinking about frequently during the day.
18. My relationship with is very romantic.
19. I find to be very personally attractive.
20. I idealize .
21. I cannot imagine another person making me as happy as does.
22. I would rather be with than with anyone else.
23. There is nothing more important to me than my relationship with .
24. I especially like physical contact with .
25. There is something almost "magical" about my relationship with .
26. I adore .
27. I cannot imagine life without .
28. My relationship with is passionate.
29. When I see romantic movies and read romantic books, I think of .
30. I fantasize about .
31. I know that I care about .
32. I am committed to maintaining my relationship with .
33. Because of my commitment to , I would not let other people come between us.
34. I have confidence in the stability of my relationship with .
35. I could not let anything get in the way of my commitment to .
36. I expect my love for to last for the rest of my life.
37. I will always feel a strong responsibility for .
38. I view my commitment to as a solid one.
39. I cannot imagine ending my relationship with .
40. I am certain of my love for .
41. I view my relationship with as permanent.
42. I view my relationship with as a good decision.
43. I feel a sense of responsibility toward .
44. I plan to continue my relationship with .
45. Even when is hard to deal with, I remain committed to our relationship.

Intimacy Score
Passion Score
Commitment Score


Psychologist Robert Sternberg sees love as being composed of three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. The first 15 items in the scale reflect intimacy, the second 15 measure passion, and the final 15 reflect commitment. Compare your scores closest to your three totals in the appropriate column below to determine the degree to which you experience each of these three components of love.

Intimacy Passion Commitment  
(Items 1-15) (Items 16-30) (Items 31-45)  
93 73 85 Significantly below average
102 85 96 Somewhat below average
111 98 108 Average
120 110 120 Somewhat above average
129 123 131 Significantly above average

According to Sternberg, high scores in all three components would indicate consummate love. However, uneven or low scores do not necessarily mean that a relationship is not strong: All relationships have ups and downs, and the nature of a relationship may change over time.

SOURCE: "The Triangular Love Scale" from The Triangle of Love: Intimacy, Passion, Commitment, by Robert Sternberg. Copyright ©1988 by Robert Sternberg. Reprinted by permission of the author.